Wednesday, November 21, 2018


This time of year has been rough for me for many years.

This is the time of year where you are slapped in the face
with activities 
and plans 
and gatherings 
that seem to only happen because...
it's what we always do?

"It's tradition!" everyone will tell you.
"Don't you want to use this exact time to do these very specific activities to show love and honor to your past and present?"

It's an act of courage
to look your traditions
straight in the face

and tell them,
"You no longer serve me."

Often, traditions are rooted in oppressive,
racist, classist history.
Twisted responses to our old stories.
Stories that hurt a lot of people around us.
But we're too set in our ways to listen.
Too belligerent to try to understand.

And somewhere deep within us we know that.
And we try to break free and make new traditions
and listen to new stories
and create new love.

But the rest of the world continues to spin around us,
demanding that their traditions are still the best,
and create distance between us when we clash.

Tradition for tradition's sake isn't love.
It isn't remembrance.
It isn't honor.

I'd like to think that if our loved ones could see the evolution
of our lives, our selves, our new loved ones,
they'd understand why things need to change sometimes.

That we are able to still remember and love our past,
even if it looks a little different now.

That we can love each other all days in all ways,
not just certain ones at certain times.

You have my permission
to bail on your tradition.

Create something so new and so loving
that it begs to be repeated
year after year
day after day.

Hopefully something that involves way less wrapping paper and turkey.

-C McG

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