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Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Just

Hi, I'm emerging from my tornado of summer busy-ness in time to sit in a very reflective mood this week.

I'm writing this post on a day where friends are stepping forward with their stories of past violation and abuse, being questioned and bullied for speaking the words out loud, and I just CAN'T today.

But, it's moving me to write something, at least.


--

Just

We have a strong desire,
inclination,
knee-jerk
reaction

when we watch horrible things happen
to people we love
respect
admire

and it seems like they make the choice
to live in that horror
rather than escape.

Why don't they just leave
Why don't they just change
Why don't they just report it
Why don't they just diet
Why don't they just stop drinking
Why don't they just fix their situation?

But if we take those same questions
and ask them of ourselves,
we have a million valid excuses,
naturally.

Like somehow we'd be any different.

Like somehow we are any different.

Existing is complicated,
nuanced.

If any terrible situation had a perfect answer
without any fall-out,

of COURSE we'd make the choice to change.

Living day-to-day is an extreme balancing act.


Trying to meet our own needs
meet others' needs
keep our jobs
our friends
our homes
our sanity
our safety.

It's a vast network of power

to be balanced
cared for
honored.

Ultimately, we mostly try to survive.

We don't live in a vacuum.
Everything we do, everything we are
exists on a very sensitive scale.

Tip too much one way or the other

the scale no longer can hold everything up.

Let's practice keeping our desire to judge,

our inclination to assume wrong,
our knee-jerk reaction
to bad situations
our armchair counseling 

to a dull roar, OK?

If someone isn't "just" doing something to fix a bad situation,
try to understand
there's more happening under the surface
than you can possibly know.

Maybe try just listening to their stories
Maybe try just believing your loved ones
Maybe try just being a good friend.

-C McG




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