Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Onto the Next Thing

You probably have figured this out by now,
but I kinda love just mulling over Myers-Briggs personality types,
and I don't even care what you think of me for it.

When I take my own assessments, I very often land on ESFJ or ENFJ.

I don't quite get all the 'cognitive stacking' assessments 

of what your letter orders mean,
but I DO know how I FEEL, so whew. 

(It's a good thing I'm not a legit academic blog, amirite?)

The gist is:

I'm energized by interacting with other people and being in social situations (despite my non-MB-related body-image issues that make me initially very uncomfortable being in public. I usually get over it in time).

I often will put myself in some sort of mentor/leader/consult role to be able to do everything how I'd like it to be done (and to help people reach their goals) (but mostly because I feel like I have a vision for how to get things done).

I care DEEPLY about a wide circle of people. I want to know about them, their stories, their hopes and dreams for this existence, and will bend over backwards to help them achieve their goals.

To a point.

The other side of me is that I DO need nearly-constant streams of affirmation that I'm doing well and that my work is needed/useful. If I don't get that feedback, I will burn the fuck out. I also will burn out if I start to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Which happens because I have a hard time saying "no" when I need a break, even when it's to people who are taking advantage of me (I'm getting better, though).

So basically, I'm very helpful and loving! Until I Am Not. LOL. Cool, great.


Something I've recently read about is the concept of Co-Rumination. It's essentially the constant venting fests without any resolution. We drag our friends down, they drag us down, when all we do is vent and vent and vent about a situation we obviously need to just get out of, but somehow we think that venting is good enough.

My personality type also seems to have an impatience for Co-Rumination, which is probably OK? But the article came at a perfect moment. Just a week or so before that, I had jotted this sketch in my book:

And I'm adopting that as my EN/ESFJ Classy motto.

Venting and emoting and processing things that are happening to us is SO important for our well-being.

But at some point, we need to figure out if we're venting for the sake of venting, or if we need to move onto the next thing.

Because of my nature of wanting so badly to help you,
I'll get really butt-hurt if we're having the same conversation in six months and you didn't take any of my advice!

OK, I'm only kinda joking about that one ;)

Take care of yourself,

which will then allow you
to take care of others.

-C McG

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