Sunday, August 30, 2015

Blossoming

I remember near the end of college,
I went to a meeting with someone at the career counseling center,
because I just had no idea what the hell I was doing with myself, 
but I knew I needed help getting...somewhere.

The counselor asked me, if I could have any career I wanted, what would I do?

My awkward fat self says, "I want to be on Broadway."

She just stared at me.

For a very long time, I just wanted to be on stage;
But I also didn't want to, like, train or lose weight or anything that it takes to be on stage.

That's kinda my whole life, just dabbling in things.
Never fully realizing professional amounts of qualifications to do things.
I just want to...do...things.

I mostly get my experience hanging around people who are very good at things.
And then getting sad that I'm not very good at anything.

I still like to perform, and would pretty much drop anything for the chance,
but I think I finally understand that's not actually the fullest realization of myself.

I've settled into having the roles of "money-keeper" and "organizer"
and "coordinator" and "patron,"
and I'm not OK with it yet.

But I also love taking care of people,
and I think if I were to have tried the path of performing, 
I couldn't juggle all of it.

Someday I hope I'll be OK about where I am.
All signs and all opportunities point me this direction,
so it's silly to not go.

Because that's where I've blossomed.

-C McG

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