Sunday, September 1, 2013

Cycles


The trouble with drastic habit changes

is that you convince yourself there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

And when you reach said light, 

you think you are home free.

You are fixed.

You are cured.

You conquered what was wrong with you.

So you relax.

Before you know it, the old habits come rolling back.

But it's OK. You are in control of it now.

Except you aren't.

I don't know how or when that part of your brain clicks

that tells you the old habits aren't worth it

and that your new habits are awesome.

My brain is still convinced it's all some kind of punishment.

That the new habits are just systems of denying what I really want to be doing.

If you ever see me only eating two slices of pizza somewhere, 

you might consider giving me a hug.

I'll probably be needing it.

-C McG

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