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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Cut it Out

I keep myself fairly busy over on InstagramIt's very much my place to post short little nuggets of joy. 

I save my long ramblings for here.

This weekend I got to do some lettering practice and post my progress, and people seem to dig it:


This phrase comes into my life
after I feel like I've been making too many excuses,
too many flimsy explanations
too many cop-outs.

And I'll remember to start asking myself,
"Cut the bullshit. Why are you REALLY not doing the thing?"

Fear, usually.

Another reason that sometimes sneaks out

is that I don't actually WANT to do the thing.

And sometimes that's OK, too.

Just either do it or don't soon, OK?


-C McG



Sunday, May 20, 2018

Your Classy Companion Interlude 1 - Tim Gillespie

Hello, friends! Happy Sunday!

I've just released my 18th installment of Your Classy Companion -- My audio companion series to this blog! I hope you'll subscribe and catch up with my friends and me through this silly little project.

Tonight I released what I'll deem an "Interlude" track where we step away from talking about my blog posts, and I just ask my friends about something they know a lot about for a few minutes. Today's feature is my husband Tim. He composed the theme song for the series and also often plays during our recordings. He's so great!

I hope you enjoy! Stay tuned for more!


Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Onto the Next Thing


You probably have figured this out by now,
but I kinda love just mulling over Myers-Briggs personality types,
and I don't even care what you think of me for it.

When I take my own assessments, I very often land on ESFJ or ENFJ.

I don't quite get all the 'cognitive stacking' assessments 

of what your letter orders mean,
but I DO know how I FEEL, so whew. 

(It's a good thing I'm not a legit academic blog, amirite?)

The gist is:

I'm energized by interacting with other people and being in social situations (despite my non-MB-related body-image issues that make me initially very uncomfortable being in public. I usually get over it in time).


I often will put myself in some sort of mentor/leader/consult role to be able to do everything how I'd like it to be done (and to help people reach their goals) (but mostly because I feel like I have a vision for how to get things done).

I care DEEPLY about a wide circle of people. I want to know about them, their stories, their hopes and dreams for this existence, and will bend over backwards to help them achieve their goals.

To a point.


The other side of me is that I DO need nearly-constant streams of affirmation that I'm doing well and that my work is needed/useful. If I don't get that feedback, I will burn the fuck out. I also will burn out if I start to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Which happens because I have a hard time saying "no" when I need a break, even when it's to people who are taking advantage of me (I'm getting better, though).

So basically, I'm very helpful and loving! Until I Am Not. LOL. Cool, great.


--

Something I've recently read about is the concept of Co-Rumination. It's essentially the constant venting fests without any resolution. We drag our friends down, they drag us down, when all we do is vent and vent and vent about a situation we obviously need to just get out of, but somehow we think that venting is good enough.

My personality type also seems to have an impatience for Co-Rumination, which is probably OK? But the article came at a perfect moment. Just a week or so before that, I had jotted this sketch in my book:




And I'm adopting that as my EN/ESFJ Classy motto.

Venting and emoting and processing things that are happening to us is SO important for our well-being.

But at some point, we need to figure out if we're venting for the sake of venting, or if we need to move onto the next thing.

Because of my nature of wanting so badly to help you,
I'll get really butt-hurt if we're having the same conversation in six months and you didn't take any of my advice!

OK, I'm only kinda joking about that one ;)

Take care of yourself,

which will then allow you
to take care of others.

-C McG






Wednesday, May 9, 2018

The Time to Begin is Now


In my self-discernment journey, you probably know that I've stumbled upon Gretchen Rubin and the Four Tendencies framework to help me figure out why I suck at meeting goals for myself (I'm an Obliger).

But what was extra-fascinating to me was also asking extra questions about how I LIKE to tackle projects/habits. These are our Distinctions.

One that is particularly relevant to how I tackle something especially scary/overwhelming is the question of "Are you an over-buyer or an under-buyer? You can take a little quizzy quiz here.

We can make so many excuses that we're not ready to start a thing,

that there's always a better time when we'll magically be more ready somehow.

You can spot an over-buyer from a mile away because they are the ones that insist they can only begin a new thing when they have the right supplies in hand.

They need the special running gear, books, videos, lamps, clothes, shoes, socks, etc etc and THEN they will attempt to go for a run. Maybe.

The artist will need the perfect pens, paper, paints, brushes,

perfect day
perfect muse.

And then they will be ready to create. Maybe.


My challenge is to just throw all that prep to the wind,
hear those moments when I feel compelled do something NOW,
and then make it work with what I already have.

You already have so much.

You already are so much.

Know you can always add more supplies later.

--

I started drawing mandalas this past month, which was super-fun.
In the penciling process, it became clear that I'd want to ink in my lines

and then erase all my pencil markings.

So I felt like I had EARNED a trip to the pen store to find the perfect pen for that task (but would also be a good pen to have for lots of other things)!

And now I use the pen all the time.

But I totally could have continued making art without it,

and that would have been OK, too.

-C McG




Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Weapon of Choice


This one's a little silly,

but I've had SEVERAL conversations in the last week
where I offered that we just 'kill 'em with kindness.'

If you follow Harry Potter Alliance, 

they use the line
"The weapon we have is love"

which is obviously ALSO my favorite.

Anyway.


I hope whatever you do, 
you come from a place of kindness and love.

For others, for yourself.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is walk away.
And that's OK, too.

-C McG

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

No, We're Not There Yet


There's some cool psychology in the world that tells us 

if we're waiting on some perfect
event/opportunity/accomplishment to happen 
in order for us to be the human we need to be,

if we're hoping things will be different somehow
once we've reached our destination,

if we can finally try that new thing
as soon as we've accomplished this intermediate goal,

that just as soon as X happens, we'll be happy...

we're just kinda fucked.

And it has a name: Arrival Fallacy (Summaries: here and here and oof)

As we work toward goals,

our brain fills us with these...anticipatory feelings, 
the feelings that say to us, 
"This is how amazing it will definitely feel when I've accomplished this goal!"

We build the goal up so much

that when we finally get there,
it's never as amazing as we expected.

We don't get that rush of good feelings.

Usually, achieving the goal,
like with video games,
just unlocks some other fucking door
behind which contains new journeys to more goals all over again.

We're never done.

Slow down, enjoy the moments you are living now,

try not to get too hung up on the happiness you THINK you'll have later.

What if you never get there?


-C McG

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Let Me Sell You Something


You may have already read this post from last month, but this topic is my whole life right now.

A couple of years back, I stopped doing much monitoring of my weight. I snapped. When I started weighing myself again, I finally saw how far back I had truly fallen.

Last year, I resolved to get my shit back together. I lost and gained the same 10 pounds all year. This year is shaping up to be about the same, except I'm back to exercising and gaining strength again (I was recovering from injury for about half the year).

I'm starting to understand more that our bodies don't appreciate our attempts at food restriction. And when we finally let ourselves eat again, we swing back the other direction of bingeing and guilt from bingeing and all kinds of terrible mental shit, because our bodies NEED this food. It's trying to undo all the shitty dieting we were doing.

You know how not all of us can be super-models or professional athletes?

Not all of us are supposed to be the same size.

Our biology, our genes, our bodies each have a beautiful neutral state where we can just exist and be the same weight and send/receive useful brain signals about what to eat and when without judgment.

The bummer is, that neutral is fatter than we want it to be, apparently.

Or rather, it's fatter than we feel like we should be to exist in our current society.

--


I've also been in conversations where people scoff at others' inability to see food as truly fuel for our bodies. Animals have it figured out, humans are stupid and terrible. Just put down the ice cream, fatty.

But I also don't see people fucking with squirrels' brains, 

telling them they are too fat to be loved and successful,
and here's a product that can fix that.

And then from the other direction,

people telling the squirrel NO, TRY MY PRODUCT.

All day every day.


Overwhelming contradictory feedback on a loop forever and ever until we die.

--

I know I have a lot of de-programming and re-programming to do.

While I'm crying about eating too much dinner or too many chips,

I'm not spending enough time asking myself WHY? Who gives a shit?

And...I don't have a good enough answer.


I don't know why. And I don't know what other magical version of myself would make me any happier. The fact that I've treated my body so poorly makes me sadder than it probably should, ha.

Anyway, I'm just scratching the surface of all this, and will probably have more to write as I try to find some kind of neutral state for myself.


As disappointed as I feel about not being able to fit in my 'skinny' clothes anymore, I'm realizing I need to celebrate that I've let my body find a state where it's more nourished and prepared to help me day-to-day.

I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing.

-C McG